That's not very Yogic

Ugh...the title of this blog just annoys me! And I have been just as guilty of saying that phrase as any one I know. While it annoys me I still can’t seem to help but make that observation from time to time.

Some of you may be asking, what the hell is Juice talking about? Has she lost her mind? Fallen off her rocker? Taken a dive into the seas of insanity?

The answer, dear readers, is yes to all of these things. But that is a whole other kettle of monkeys so lets try to keep to the topic at hand.

To illuminate the "masses", some yogi’s say that other people’s behavior is considered “not yogic”, meaning, it is not peaceful, kind or calm (I find it to mean that someone has annoyed you so you tell them they aren’t yogic – but that’s just me people).

An example:

THE SCENARIO: Someone in a yoga class is breathing as good or better than Darth Vader ever could.

THE OUTCOME: Some students may become frustrated or angry with this Hoover vacuum sounding person.

YOGIC OR NOT YOGIC?: That type of anger is considered "not very yogic". Why? Well because a yoga class is supposed to be full of serene, happy, mellow people who would never notice a loud breather if they sat in your lap face-to-face and yelled, "HEY! Listen to me breathe! Isn’t it cool?!"

MY THOUGHTS: Aww F&%k it people! It's a class full of yogic peeps not freakin GURU's! We are all beautiful flawed, wonderfully wacky people who have quirks, bad days, good days, pissy wanna stomp out humanity days and on some of those days a loud breather makes you want to pick them up and throw them out of the yoga studio. Be at peace with that anger, do not judge (because my little kiddies, THAT is the worst yogic attitude to have) and live and let live. I say if you can make a face, get yourself to giggle about the loud breather and move on with your practice with grace and ease than just do that! Then, once class is over, get your groovy self out of class, into a bar and start making fun of that mouth breather for a few minutes. (I know, I know, that seems kind of judgemental and mean but hey, I’m as human as the rest of you and who doesn’t garner a wee bit of satisfaction out of mocking others, come on, don’t lie to me, much like Professor X in X-Men I can read your minds!)

Look, doing yoga does not make us perfect. It is called PRACTICE for a reason people! We are trying, we are working, we are practicing at being more patient, more kind and more understanding of the quirks that make this crazy cheese ball called life go round.

To be yogic or not to be yogic, what the hell difference does it really make at the end of the day?

What does matter is that you see what you(yes, YOU there in the back, reading this with a snarl on your face and rolling your eyes at me, I see you!) are doing when you get mad at something silly (and lets face it, loud breathing is a really ridiculous thing to get pissed off at. It's almost as silly as getting mad at someone for having B.O.). that the person doing the action cannot really control all that much. Once you see it, really SEE it for what it is, well, then you let it go. Have a laugh. Have a beer. Have some sex. Do whatever you need to do to move past it and realize that hey, it's great they breathe loud because now I can fart loud and no one will hear me. Or maybe you try their way of breathing and find it cathartic!

In the end I say it’s not about what is "yogic" or not, it's about what is humane or not. It is about what is judgmental and what is not. It’s about the love you feel towards that person who is breathing loud and annoying the ever-loving CRAP out of you because you do love them. Deep, deep, DEEP down you love them so much it hurts. But we forget that we love each other, we forget that what makes us all the same is our humanity and part of that humanity is our flaws. Our beautiful flaws. Loud breathing, farting, moaning...all of this is part of a yoga class so I would say, ALL of it is "yogic".

It’s what you do after class that makes you “yogic” or “not yogic” so take that mat with you everywhere you go (figuratively that is) and take some time to watch what you are doing and thinking instead of worrying so much about what everyone else is doing or thinking.

And oh yeah, watch out for telepath’s, they see your thoughts and know the truth.

Take that beyotches.