5 Tips to Set Them Crazy Beyotchs Straight. aka: How to Annoy Stupid People

5 Tips to set them crazy bitches straight
This is part and parcel of re-adjusting the attitudes of rude and/or mean people. It is not all the rules but it merely is a way to get them out of your way when you are trying to have a nice, pleasant work day.

1) Whatever you do, no matter how angry you are, do not punch the people. See tip 5 for dire emergencies.

2) Make sure to start talking as little as possible to the asshole who is pestering you. Stupid people tend to get confused when the person they are trying to insult stops speaking. Then they talk more and thus give you more ammunition to make fun of them with. Bide your time and smile gently as the berate you. As you "listen" envision all the nasty things you would love to say and/or do to them. In your mind you can get as violent as you want, you can envision them as a lampshade if you want. This will help with keeping the gentle smile on your face.

3) Once they stop spewing forth their stupidity and rudeness, make your attack. Quickly throw back anything they say to you with wit and humor but with an edge of malice.
Example:
Rude Person: So you said I could have my money back even though I took the class. I want my money back now so that I can go forth into the world and buy cigarettes and hookers. Why wont you just give me money back? I was not pleased with the class and therefore should get my money back.
You: OK. But do you feel more relaxed?
RP: Uh..sure
You: Do you feel as relaxed as you would feel after having sex with a hooker & smoking a butt?
RP: ??
You: I am going to take your silence as a yes. Therefore I am not giving you back your money you dumbass moronic VD infested hooker buyer*. You are just going to have to save your pennies for hookers and butts on another day. For now, I feel that your odor of BO and Cigarettes is enough of a payback for the rest of the world and you can go now.
RP: But..
You: YOU GO NOW.
(*this is no way insulting Hooker Buyers or Cigarette smokers, to each his/her own. This is only meant to be insulting to stupid people who are rude along with being hooker buyers and butt smokers.)

4) Ignore them. They hate to be ignored. Pretend you didn’t hear them. When they start calling your name (or hollering "Hey. You." give them a few moments of yelling before you respond. Then act like you don’t know why they are so worked up. Idiots LOVE that because you have effectively made them feel like they are over-reacting and you are the picture of calm confidence.

5) As a last resort, start throwing things at them and yelling "KAPOW! KAPOW!" - mean people get confused and yell even more before running away in fear of the crazy person in their midst. A valid strategy only to be used as a last resort.